So, I’m checking my web stats earlier today and there’s a new submission – a voice coaching request form. This brought a heart flutter to my otherwise ho-hum morning…briefly. It’s not often that I hear from potential students and I’m always excited to speak to someone new who might benefit from my services.
Well, this form was from “dick cocknballs” (email@example.com, 904-244-7666) and dick doesn’t really want voice coaching. He wanted to say, “u r a fnnn libratard”. My first thought was, ‘What’s a libratard?” I’m not a Libran; I’m an Aquarian. Is a libratard some new kind of combination bra and leotard? Is he trying to call me a fine liberator? A fun librarian? Oh, my, what does it mean?!
Determined to get a clue, I looked up libratard. Bing didn’t offer me a satisfactory definition, so I asked Google, “What is a libratard?” Google returned several forum discussions with references to libratard.
Apparently, a libratard is a person who “wants to live in a make believe world where morals, tradition, truth, justice, and faith (Jesus) does not exist.” Also, it seems one is usually called a libratard by a racist, sexist, redneck, gun-toting “Christian” whose signature includes “kill ’em all and let god sort it out,” or something to that effect. Alrighty then, mr. cocknballs. Blessings to you, too!
On the form submission, dick says he’s in Selma, AL, but his IP address says Ormond Beach, FL. Lying coward. Maybe I should send someone down to knock on little dick’s door and ask him to explain himself. Did he really mean to type libertarian but lost track of the syllables? Actually, little dick is probably 12 years old; product of a backwoods swamp public school system. And why, pray tell, wasn’t he at the schoolhouse this morning? Cutting class to surf the web and submit lame comments just to irritate the grown-ups. Kids today…too much time on their hands. *smh*
As if I don’t have enough to deal with. Besides the general maintenance and updating of this site, there is the constant influx of bots attacking my log in page. Then, there are the spammers who try to leave unintelligible, link-loaded comments on my posts. Now, I have to deal with some idiot using a service request form to call me a name that isn’t even a real word.
To all of you spammers and hackers and general irritants out there: Look, I don’t need the stress. I have a simple little website. I don’t have millions of visitors, followers, readers, etc. You will not accomplish anything by being here other than getting on my nerves. And, why would you want to get on my nerves? You don’t even know me. Now git! Stay away from my website and leave me alone! Liberte, I say!